There are tons of rules and regulations on the Coachella website.
Some of these rules are easy to remember (no guns!) and some of them are totally new (micro-chipped wristbands not tickets). We’ve got the breakdown on some of the things you should and shouldn’t do to make sure you have the fun you definitely should be having!
Rule #1: Don’t Bring Anything That Could Be Used For Murder, Torture, Getting Ridiculously High, Make You Look Like A Moron Or Will Save You Money
If you don’t know what you can murder with that’s things like guns, knives, chains, machetes, grenades, or whatever can be used as weapon. Which is basically anything, but the Coachella security is going to assume you are smart enough not to get creative with a fresh, young coconut.
If you don’t know what you can torture with it’s things like blankets, video cameras or professional cameras to document scandalous moments…or instruments of any kind. Also, why are you paying a million dollars to go to a music festival to sit around and play your own instrument? The mind does not comprehend.
If you don’t know what can get you ridiculously high, keep it that way. Hugs not drugs. But if you like hugs and drugs, you better stick with hugs, but try to wear a long-lasting deodorant.
If you don’t know what will make you look like a moron, that is BRINGING A STUFFED ANIMAL TO A FESTIVAL. How is that awesome or going to get you laid, even if you do stuff it with “goodies?” It’s a stuffed animal. Have some integrity.
If you don’t know what would save you money, that is your own food and drink. Because, you could sneak vodka in a shampoo bottle and have enough money for gas home. Or, you could buy really expensive vodka on the campgrounds and become a hobo. Or you could not drink alcohol and maybe not get heat stroke from dehydration.