HFS DJs Reveal Their Predictions for 2012
We asked the HFS DJs to predict what we’ll see happen in 2012. Here’s what they came up with.
“Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin will break up.”
“That tall guy who’s in the White House right now will be there four more years. Any and all of his potential replacements look like they just climbed out of a clown car at Ringling Brothers.”
“In music: Coldplay’s tour will be the biggest of the year. Josh Klinghoffer will quit the Chili Peppers mid-tour. Dave Navarro will come back because he’ll quit Jane’s because Perry is a goddamned nutcase. Guns N’ Roses WILL NOT re-unite in full for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (hope I’m wrong about that); in fact, Axl won’t even show up. I bet Steven Tyler sits in with the rest of the Gunners to play some stuff from Appetite. Speaking of Tyler, back to rehab for him, I bet. (OK, that’s not a real prediction. That’s just an annual event.)
“In politics: I think that LOTS of young people will get more involved. Not the Occupy people. These will be hard working intelligent young people who aren’t just pissed at corporate America. These will be young people who will understand how the system works, and moreover, how to get involved to change it. Sadly, I think unemployment will remain stagnant and maybe even rise. I think that President Obama will be re-elected; despite his current fall from favor, I never underestimate the Republicans’ ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. We will see fewer bans on gay marriage, and more bans on smoking. The idea of table games will be floated in Maryland. The “Obamacare” bill will be ruled unconstitutional (because it is) by the Supreme Court. I sadly think we will see at least the attempt of a large scale terror attack on the U.S., and the TSA will be forced to admit that their efforts are largely theatrical and ineffective. The Attorney General’s “Fast and Furious” will become an even bigger scandal and he will be asked to step down by the President. Governor O’Malley will announce that he’s going to step down as Governor and take over for Barbara Mikulski, who will retire for health reasons.
“In entertainment: 2011 saw fewer people going to theaters than ever before. That trend will continue. I’ve got 5.1 surround sound, a 61-inch screen and popcorn is free at my house. Screw the theater. “Men in Black 3” and the Avengers movie will do well money-wise, but they will SUCK. In fact, ALL of the comic book movies that come out next year will suck. The formula has had it, Hollywood…move on. The live action Snow White will suck, too. The reboot of “Red Dawn” will be great, though. The docu-drama “Kill Bin Laden” will cause lots of civil unrest as Muslim Americans get pissed about it. On TV, “Two and a Half Men” will cancel, as will “House.” The year will be full of more mega-game shows. I bet “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” will come back; after all, Regis isn’t busy anymore.
“Oddball prediction: Jerry Sandusky will kill himself. (Actually, I just HOPE that happens.)”
“Scientists discover many new health benefits of eating lots of bacon. Consequently, I will look like a GENIUS.”
“Here’s to hoping the world doesn’t end! Let’s drink!”
“I will finally win the lottery, but still keep my Sunday afternoon radio show. I’m also going to visit the Mayan ruins in a few weeks (true story)…and when I’m there I will find all of the crystal skulls and stop the 2012 apocalypse (or end up being the cause of it). Seriously though, HFS being back on the dial in Baltimore is one of the most amazing and unexpected treats in 2011 and I’m not sure what could really top that in 2012. Thanks to everyone at CBS who helped to make this happen, to Spam for bringing myself and the other alumni back into the family, and to you guys for keeping the HFS love alive! 2012 is going to be a great year.”
“A steady pay check?”
And how about you? What are your predictions for the new year?