Here’s THE GOOD NEWS for today: A 42-year-old guy from Poland got stuck in open water trying to kite-surf across the Red Sea on Friday. He was stranded for two days, survived on energy bars, and used a knife to fight off ELEVEN sharks. The Saudi Arabian Coast Guard rescued him after 40 hours, and he’s going to be fine.
I want to call Shenanigans on this but I don’t want this dude finding me as I am sure he could beat my ass six ways from Sunday.
Well, we’ve told you about all of today’s nonsense, chaos, and stupidity. Now here’s “The Good News.”
Jan Lisewski is a 42-year-old kite surfer from Poland. Last year, he became the first person to kite surf across the Baltic Sea. And on Friday, he tried to cross the Red Sea . . . but he ended up getting STRANDED in open water. He sent out an SOS, but it took the Saudi Arabian Coast Guard 40 hours to find him. So for two days, he survived on energy bars and the little bit of water he’d brought with him. He’d also decided at the last minute to bring a knife on the trip. It was a good thing he did, because he used it to fight off ELEVEN sharks, some of them 18-feet long. He said he jabbed them in the eyes, nose and gills to fend them off . . . all night long. The Coast Guard finally found Jan, and he was dehydrated, but otherwise uninjured.
A few things here: A) Who knew Saudi Arabia had a Coast Guard? 2) Where the hell did he keep power bars, water and a radio on a Kite Board? and D) I feel like the 11 sharks may be made up. I’d believe 3 sharks, but 11 seems a little high to me. I feel as though the average person could fight off 1 and live. A real bad ass could do 2 or, but 11 sounds like too many. Also, it seems like an odd number to remember that exactly. Like if asked he should have said “At least 10” or “5 or 6” like an estimate. But to state “11” on the nose seems a bit odd….
Please don’t tell him I said any of that.